


Death Star

by thedrunkenwerewolf



Category: Bleach
Genre: Aizen basically fanboys over Star Wars, Aizen wants a Death Star, But Aizen insists, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Especially not a Full Scale Fully Functional Monstrosity Of A Death Star, Gin is the voice of reason, Gin sighs a long suffering sigh, Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, and demands Gin gets him one, and gets him a death star on a budget, and tries to explain they can NOT afford a Death Star, and wants to emulate Darth Vader, but he loves Aizen so he runs with it, enabled by Cat, i forgot to crosspost this one here oops, mildly fluffy ending, nevermind the budget, so Gin improvises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21790975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf
Summary: Standalone completed story. After watching Star Wars, Aizen decides he wants a Death star. Gin is expected to deliver one. What he gets is... not what Aizen expected. Fluffy waffly crack and birthday gift for Catsafari.
Relationships: Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin





	Death Star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Catsafari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsafari/gifts).



> Business: I own nothing except Cherry&Tsuku.
> 
> A/n: Birthday gift for my lovely friend and enabler Catsafari... who enabled this. And also because we watched Star Wars :) I am... *looks at clock* not sure you'll be awake yet but Happy birthday! Thanks for being my friend and enabler. It's not TCR but it's fun and will make you smile. Enjoy the fic. May it tide you over while you're doing your waiting in Azkaban for me to wreck you with Fisher (as the bastard who wrote Decimated) in a couple of months XD
> 
> Wordcount: 2687
> 
> Written to: The Imperial March. For uh, reasons. While giggling like a lunatic. (oh god now I want an amv of this)
> 
> Notes: fluffy waffly crack. Enjoy :)
> 
> summary – Standalone story. After watching Star Wars, Aizen decides he wants a Death star. Gin is expected to deliver one. What he gets is... not what Aizen expected. Fluffy waffly crack and birthday gift for Catsafari.

**Death Star (on a budget)**

Gin had to admit that watching Star Wars together with Aizen hadn't been on his list of _'Things very likely to happen'._ But he wasn't going to argue. If Sousuke said he wanted to watch the sci-fi series with him, Gin would sit and watch it with him. It was only fair. After all, Sousuke had sat through (the very many screenings of) Bridget Jones Diary. He could sit through Star Wars with Sousuke. Really though, it was just nice to see Sousuke get excited about something.

They were going to watch the episodes in the order they were released. "To get the full Star Wars experience," he said. Gin just nodded and agreed, getting himself comfy on the sofa with their pet foxes Cherry and Tsuku. With, acccording to Aizen, the required amount of blankets and snacks.

Aizen put the DVD in the player and joined him, gently making a space for himself beside Gin by lifting the foxes out of the way. Then he pressed 'play' on the remote, and they lost themselves in the Star Wars universe.

. . .

It was several weeks later that Gin got the idea to play the Imperial March, Darth Vader's theme music, whenever Sousuke walked into the room. It was such a brilliant, funny idea, Gin really didn't know why he hadn't thought of it earlier.

It was especially enjoyable to play it when Aizen walked into the meeting room to speak with his gathered Espada. All the eye rolls – subtle and obvious – were simply delightful. But the outright scowls and sneers on Grimmjow's face were the absolute _best._ Gin had to fight to keep his snickers quiet and not just burst out cackling like a witch.

It was made even better by the fact that Aizen played along with him. _Especially_ in front of the Espada. Then, he really seemed to embody the presence that was Lord Vader. Okay, Aizen didn't do the breathing thing or the deep voice, or even say _'I am your father',_ to Grimmjow, but Gin took what he could get. He could always get Aizen drunk later and make him do it, anyway.

Just one of the perks of being Aizen's partner in crime and right hand.

But mostly it was just nice to see Aizen having a little fun.

. . .

More time passed, and Gin walked into his study one day to find Aizen surrounded by blueprints. And sitting on the floor.

"O-kay," Gin said, "Why all the papers everywhere?"

He watched Sousuke's face just _light up_ when he saw him. "Ah! Gin! Just the person I wanted to see!" he said, rolling up the largest blueprint and getting to his feet. He strode over to Gin and laid an arm round his shoulders. "Let me show you something."

"Uh, 'kay, but that don't explain why all a these papers are here..." Gin said as Aizen led him over to the desk.

"I'll get to that in a moment," Aizen answered, releasing Gin for a moment to lay the blueprint under his arm out onto the desk and roll it out so Gin could see what was on it.

Gin had to smile when he saw. On the paper were scaled drawings of the Death Star. Very accurate. Very detailed. And looking very, very buildable.

"I can see why yer so excited," Gin grinned. Who knew Aizen Sousuke was a huge star Wars geek?

He quietly filed that information away for future use.

"Yes!" Aizen exclaimed. Very much excited. He looked the way he did when he had a devious evil scheme planned. "You see, I think Darth Vader was onto something with this," he began, running his fingertips over the Death Star schematics. "And I was thinking, why don't _we_ get ourselves something like that? I mean, we could certainly use one. Why, winning the war would be _easy_ if we had one of these things! We have all the shinigami assemble in one place and then just push a button and blast them all to smithereens! It'll be easy! And we'd never even have to leave our chairs."

Aizen turned to smile broadly at Gin. Clearly pleased with this new grand plan of his. "Well, what do you think?"

Gin tried to imagine it. Aizen, sitting in his throne, telling him "You may fire when ready." And then Gin would press the Big Red Button and BOOM!

Gin had to smile. It did sound easy. And he _did_ like blasting things to smithereens. Especially things he didn't like. Or people he didn't like.

The only two problems were logistics and finance. Nevermind how on Earth they were going to get it _into_ space to use it. No, how the hell were they even going to afford to _build_ a Death Star?! Especially on their budget. Unless they robbed a bank...

Gin shook off the idea. No. Not after last time.

"I think it's a good plan," Gin answered.

Aizen smirked. "Yes. It is, isn't it?"

"There's just one problem," Gin added.

"And what problem would that be, my dear Gin?" Aizen asked. And Gin knew he had to be tactful in how he phrased this.

"Well, I had a look at our budget earlier and I don't think we can afford a full scale, fully functional, planet destroying monstrosity of a Death Star."

Aizen frowned. "We can always rob another bank."

Gin's eyebrows raised. "After last time?"

Aizen looked thoughtful, for a moment. No doubt remembering the caper. The shambles. The botched getaway sans getaway driver. "Hm, yes you're right we better not. Are you sure we can't afford this?"

"I'm sure. We can't."

"What?!" Aizen exclaimed. "What are you talking about? _Surely_ there's room in our budget for a full scale, fully functional, planet destroying monstrosity of a Death Star! Check the budget again! Make cutbacks if you must!"

"I can check again if ya like," Gin told him. "But even with making cutbacks we still can't afford it. Unless you wanna blow up our budget along with planet Earth..."

"Now, now, there's no need for sarcasm, Gin," Aizen chided lightly. "It _is_ the lowest form of wit, you know," he smirked.

Gin just grinned. "Whoever said that obviously never met _me,"_ he said smugly. "I am the wittiest creature whoever lived!"

Aizen shook his head. "No, you're the most _hubristic_ creature whoever lived. And you know what they say about pride and falling..."

"Says the King of Hubris." Gin sassed back at him.

"Just shut up and get me my Death Star." Aizen quipped. "I wish to destroy some planets."

Gin swallowed. "But Sir, there _are_ no planets to destroy in the spirit world!"

"Then make me some!"

"But... that's not in the budget..."

"I don't want excuses. I want results!" Aizen told him. "Now build me some planets, and a Death Star, and don't come back until you have both tasks done."

Gin sighed. Defeated. It was no use engaging with Aizen when he was like this. He just wouldn't listen to reason. Or logic. How the hell were they going to even _afford_ a Death Star? Nevermind the logistics of building one.

"Yes, Darth Aizen." Gin said.

Aizen raised an eyebrow at the new title, but said nothing.

"I'll go get you some planets and a Death Star," Gin added.

Aizen nodded. "See that you do. And make sure it's a fully functional Death star, won't you, Gin?"

"Yes, Sousuke."

. . .

Gin went back to his room and lay on the bed stroking his pet fox Cherry. Wondering how on Earth he was going to get Aizen a Death Star. He certainly couldn't afford a real life Death Star like Aizen wanted. Heck, he couldn't even afford a half size Death Star.

He sighed heavily as he idly scratched Cherry behind the ear. He listened to her yawn contentedly and smiled at her before thinking about the Death star again.

"What'm I gonna do, Che-Che?" he asked, "How'm I s'pposed to get a hold of a full scale, fully functional, monstrosity of a Death Star? Let alone make any planets to blow up with it... unless you count out budget."

Cherry looked up at him quizzically, as if asking him 'how can a budget be a planet?'.

"Welp, I guess we aint gonna come up wit' any solutions jus' mopin' about round here," Gin said, hopping off the bed and stretching his arms out over his head. "C'mon Che-Che, let's go to the human world for a bit while we think of a plan."

Cherry leapt to her feet and yipped in agreement, wagging her tail furiously. Gin laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Well, come on then. Let's get going."

. . .

Death Star dilemma aside, Gin and Cherry actually had a fun time in the human world. They relaxed in the park and enjoyed the lovely sunshine - perfect for lazing in, enjoyed a cone of ice cream together, and even had some lovely crepes and strawberries in one of the local cafes – in which Cherry received a lot of fuss and attention. So all in all it was a good day.

Now, if only he could find a solution to his little Death Star problem this good day would turn into a perfect day. Unfortunately he didn't think Kira Izuru's credit card had a big enough limit to be able to buy a Death Star. And unless they sold little mini versions of the Death Star here in the world of the living, Gin didn't hold out much hope of ever getting his hands on one.

Gin lay back on the grass and thought about it for a while. _Well,_ he thought, _I guess it can't hurt to go ask around the shops. Who knows, maybe they DO sell miniature Death stars._

"come on, Cherry," he called to his pet, sitting up and hauling himself to his feet. "Let's go shopping."

Cherry yipped and wagged her tail as she followed him back into town.

. . .

It had taken asking just one sop assistant to point him in the direction of what he was looking for. A little – well, okay, not so little once he'd got inside the place – toy shop that seemed to sell absolutely every toy a kid could ever want. They even let him take Cherry in. Well, it was possible they might have just mistaken her for a cuddly toy in his arms. She _was_ cute as a button. But her wagging tail would've given her away, but as long as she wasn't too loud and didn't make too much of a mess, Gin didn't think they'd mind her.

It didn't take them very long to find what they were searching for.

Gin found shelves of boxes dedicated to holding Star Wars merchandise, and Gin knew they'd hit the jackpot. _Aizen would love all this stuff!_ He grinned. Getting excited over all the things he could buy with Kira's credit card in his wallet. It wasn't until Cherry nudged him with her nose that Gin remembered they were on a mission.

"Right, right," he muttered. "Yer right, Cherry, we can't get distracted. We gotta get what we came here for."

The little white fox barked and yipped in agreement, and Gin shushed her for being too loud. Thankfully nobody seemed to notice the noise, so the pair continued their search of the Star Wars aisle. Keeping their eyes peeled for the infamous Death Star.

_It has to be in one of these boxes,_ he thought.

Cherry found it before he did. She whuffed softly and nosed a big box off the shelf, almost, and Gin looked at it, very pleased with her find.

"Good girl, ya found it."

Cherry barked again and wagged her bushy white tail. Gin set her down on the floor so he could pick up the large box while she ran about in a little circle. Excited by their find.

"Lego, huh?" he mused. "Guess it's a 'Build it Yerself' kit."

Cherry wagged her tail and sat at his feet as he examined the box and read the back of it. "Yes, yes, this's perfect! Nice find, Che-Che."

Cherry just say proudly, soaking up the praise. After all, who didn't like being told they'd done a good job?

Gin smiled as he turned the box over in his hands. Almost choking when he saw the price on the sticker. " _HOW_ MUCH?!" he exclaimed, suddenly quieting when he realised how loud he was being in such a quiet shop. And fighting the urge to blush at his faux pas. Instead he just sighed.

"Oh well, aint nothin' to do 'bout it. 'Sides, it aint me who's payin' fer it, ne?" he said to his fox with a wink. Cherry barked in agreement and followed him as he carried his big Death Star containing box to the counter for purchasing. Feeling all of the little plastic bricks rattling around inside it as he walked. Finding himself a little curious too as to how all the pieces fit together to make a Death Star. He'd just have to watch the process as Aizen built it. Assuming he actually appreciated the gift and didn't immediately eviscerate him.

_He'd better appreciate this,_ Gin thought to himself. _Does he know how much this lego stuff costs these days?_

. . .

After leaving the shop with his item purchased and his mission accomplished, Gin made his way somewhere quiet and opened up a garganta so he could slip quietly back into Huecco Mundo. Hoping Aizen would be pleased with his offering.

. . .

Aizen was a little surprised at the size of the box when Gin plonked it down on the desk in front of him.

"It's... a little small, isn't it?"

"Are ya kiddin' me?" Gin asked. A little indignant. "This was the biggest box they had!"

Aizen studied the box. "This is... not what I had in mind."

"You just said 'get me a Death Star'." Gin answered him. "So I did. You didn't specify what size."

Aizen pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a moment. Actually he said he'd wanted a full scale, fully functional, planet destroying monstrosity of a Death Star... but Gin was already beginning to look annoyed and he had far better things to do than fight Gin on this. He was the Lord of Huecco Mundo, after all. And as such, he was a very busy, very important man. He sighed slowly.

"I suppose I could use it as a scale model to learn how to build the full scale thing..." he conceded, hoping to keep the peace.

"Great!" Gin beamed. Satisfied. "Can I watch ya build it?" he then asked. "Ya know. Fer learning purposes."

"Right," Aizen said, a smirk forming on his lips. Not wholly convinced by that. Suspecting that it was just a flimsy pretext for spending more time with him. "Just remember if you betray me or sell my Death Star secrets to some do-gooding Jedi, you'll be the very first person I blow up when I have my real Death Star."

Gin nodded at him. _Yeh. Me. Your enemies. The planet. And our entire budget._ "Duly noted," he said.

"It better be," Aizen said, though his smile said he didn't intend to follow through with the threat.

Gin just smiled. "I'll go make us some tea then."

"Good plan," Aizen said, already opening the box and dumping the pieces on the desk. Gin returned a few minutes later, pulling up a chair, and for the rest of the evening they sat together like little kids, building their lego Death Star. With Gin knowing that in a few weeks, somewhere in the Soul Society Kira Izuru would get a horrible shock upon opening his credit card statement.


End file.
